The end of Reese & Jake…?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 17, 2009 08:04:24 December 17, 2009 08:04:24

All tabloids and gossip outlets seem to be in agreement this week as opposed to two weeks ago when the break up reports initially leaked. People Magazine led the way originally, refuted by Gossip Cop because the publicists at the time were denying it, but now confirmed by Gossip Cop because the publicists probably don’t mind anymore…

Us Weekly is featuring the split on its latest cover. According to Us, Jakey wanted to marry Reese but she felt pressured and they fought and then they ended it over the phone. Supposedly Reese isn’t sure if J is suited to her children. Or something. The bottom line, if you believe the magazine, is that Reese drove the separation and now Jake is heartbroken.

Or not.

And no, this has nothing to do with gayness. It has everything to do however with the fact that she’s a humourless bitch. An alternate interpretation for the end of the relationship, according to my sources, is that Jake was done with her tight ass. “She’s just not that much fun and he used to be a really fun guy.” Sounds about right. She’d probably sit stonefaced through this:

But you know what I always say: gossip is a buffet. So here are your three choices:

- Reese no love Jakey
- Jakey is so gay
- Jakey no love Reese

I pick #3. You?

Previous Article Next Article