Have you seen it? Reese Witherspoon covers the new issue of Vogue. You can look at more photos here. I mean they’re alright, I guess. Like, I get it that she worked with an elephant in the movie Water For Elephants but I wonder if I need every shoot to reflect the elephant presence, you know? It’s like being clubbed over the head with a trunk. Also, some of the shots are being taken from such a distance, in order to, you know, accommodate the size of the elephant, I can barely see the details in the clothes which, in Vogue, I thought was the point.

Whatever. She’s beautiful, she’s lithe, there’s a lot of colour, we’re all good.

And then we get to the interview.

Remember when Reese Witherspoon sold her wedding exclusively to People Magazine and Hello Magazine? I criticised her sales strategy here. And then all the Twi-Hards shat on my pre-burned ass because anything associated with Robert Pattinson must be defended. Because Reese would never, ever compromise her integrity to further her career. They insist that there’s no connection between the fact that she married in the middle of the press cycle for Water For Elephants and the actual press cycle for Water For Elephants. That she would never exchange privacy for the box office.

At least that she what she says.

And we must always, always believe what celebrities say:

But one thing that hasn’t changed is that she is as private as ever. Indeed, she seems almost constitutionally unsuited for the level of fame she has to live with. At one point, I ask her what is the worst thing about being Reese Witherspoon, and she pauses for a very long time. Finally she says, “I mean, I feel like an ingrate for even thinking anything isn’t good. I’m very, very, very lucky. But . . . umm . . . probably that I parted with my privacy a long time ago. We went different ways. And sometimes I mourn it. Sometimes I will sit in the car and cry. Because I can’t get out. That’s the only thing: I mourn the loss of my privacy.”

Um, remember when Reese Witherspoon sold her wedding to People Magazine and Hello Magazine?

Oh but she’s just a girl from the South who doesn’t know about these thangs! It’s preposterous to think that Reese would up and marry only to go back to work and sneak in a quickie honeymoon only to have to return to go back to work for anything other than necessity. After all, people like Reese, with access and opportunity and resources, they are bound by necessity, aren’t they? They have NO choices, not in their schedules, not in their spending, in not much at all.

So of course not, Reese could not know about, you know, wedding planning around a theatrical release and the potential effect that could have on a movie’s performance, hell no. She’s way too authentic for that.

“(The attention) usually heats up during, like, pregnancies or babies or marriage. It’s the drama of real life. . . . It’s interesting to people. Readers want to know! I was talking to an actress the other day who is pregnant right now, and she was like, ‘What is it? What’s the deal?’ She said, ‘Oh, maybe once I have the baby no one will pay any attention,’ and I was like, ‘Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!!’ ” She exaggeratedly tosses her head back. “ ‘Oh, yeah. They will leave you alone after you have the baby. Suuure. That’s exactly how it works.’ ”

Remember when Reese Witherspoon sold her wedding to People Magazine and Hello Magazine?

And then COMPLAINED about having no privacy???

Click here to read the full Vogue article.