Ricky Gervais should host the Oscars. Hugh will be wonderful. But next year, why not Ricky? Ricky’s irreverence would rip all of them, all the famewhores, each and every one, a new asshole…starting with Ebola and Posh.

In an open letter to President Obama, Ricky writes:

“As I'm sure you are aware, one of your flock has strayed. A Miss Paris Hilton, who is, I believe, a resident of Beverley Hills, is in England doing a reality game show for ITV2 called Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. Fine. I have no problem with that. I don't have to watch. But now it has come to my attention that she has bought a house in North London a few miles from me, and is out and about ingratiating herself with the Great British public.

Mr President. We are not stupid. This is clearly a retaliatory strike for Posh Spice moving to LA. I know it, and you know it, so let's cut the "it's a free country" nonsense and come to some agreement.

I propose an exchange.

This is how it would work. We call them both and tell them that we've found a giant "paparazzi nest", in New York say. (half way home for both of them already)

At first they may be confused that they'd never heard of such a thing before, but the thought of that many photographers in one place will be irresistible.”

Click here to read Ricky’s complete post.

So how do you think Mrs Beckham will react to being lumped together with that disease? To be considered the British equivalent of a black hole vagina?

This also poses an interesting smutty scientific question:

Can one be infected with the Hollywood Ebola virus by suggested association? Is Victoria Beckham now an Ebola victim as a result of Ricky’s comparison? Quite an alarming prospect. Posh has children after all. Are they now in jeopardy?

She dressed up two of her boys in matching tees for the paps this weekend. Click here to see.

Romeo and Cruz are so cute. I worry for them now.

As for the Ebola, not surprisingly, she showed up in Tampa Bay to party at the Super Bowl yesterday. Here she is posing with some fanboy, a classic douchebag. I mean, really, it doesn’t get more douchebaggy than this. The shorts, the shirt – he’s sh*ttng on Bob Marley’s memory – the beat-me face, the two finger salute…I’m actually surprised he’s not wearing a LiveStrong bracelet, but I would bet Posh’s concrete tits that he does drive a pick-up truck. Or a Dodge Magnum.

Thanks Keri!

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com