I don’t understand Ricky Gervais’s decision making. He took so much heat last year (and it was awesome) for givin’er on Hollywood and (some of) the hypocrites in that room. He was vindicated when they asked him back. I mean, that’s pretty much an invitation to swing your big mean dick around the third time around. And ...that’s how they advertised it, right? That’s how he advertised it too.

So not only does he emerge unscathed from last year, he agrees to return, only to...

Give Seth Rogen’s erection the best line of the night.

Sorry. But Ricky Gervais totally under-delivered. And, frankly, I’d expect that from anyone BUT him. Why say yes if only to be so... unremarkable?

His best moment was probably asking Johnny Depp if he’d seen The Tourist yet. And even that landed softly because we already know he and Johnny are down. Ricky, what happened to your teeth? Maybe Hollywood does eventually mute everyone.

This is Gossip In The Time Of Corruption, probably not how Gabriel Garcia Marquez intended to be borrowed. But, in the most self-serving way possible, it’s what gave birth to the Gossip Blog. All of them. And that’s what we’re here for.

Duana and I are writing and posting and photo editing as quickly as we can. We won’t be able to include every photo of every person, but it’ll be at least 30 articles today, if not more. Thank you for hitting us up. And thank you for your comments. We look forward to reading them, even if you’re angry at us, and knowing that you’ll be fighting with us.