Well she must have been under there, non? Trust me, I was looking, I was examining. And I don’t even think that’s a pervy thing to say. A dress like that only invites it. And that kind of, um, scrutiny only spawns other discussions, which is how Sasha and I, during the liveblog, started talking about Ri’s asshole. What?

Blame Sash.

We went from this white dress on the carpet and me saying she’s bald to Sasha saying “remember when she took a picture of her actual asshole?” and me not remembering so she told me to goggle it which led us to google search terms because sometimes you have to be specific. “Rihanna’s asshole” casts too wide a net. Then I realised that Sasha was referring to those leaked shots she took with Chris Brown and it all came back to me. Yeah, Sasha’s spreading description was right on. Anyway, the point is, this dress takes you places, you know?

Also, Rihanna should be Wonder Woman.

They keep shelving the project and not being able to find a lead and starting from zero, well here she is. Rihanna. Wonder Woman. I mean, the way she looked on stage with Drake in that little suit? Please.

And another thing – those two need to get together… again… for me. While Chris Brown, that little bitch, is watching. Actually, well, you know he was. Sitting in some hotel room pretending he wasn’t bothered, hoping he was missed on music’s biggest night. Did it look like it up there between RiRi and Drizzy?

Photos from Wenn.com and ROBYN BECK/Kevin Winter/MARK RALSTON/Gettyimages.com