I wonder if the producers knew that this was not going to be the awards show that anyone remembers past today.  I don’t know.  Do they think “oh man, we have a sick lineup, this is going to be amazing”?  Because while it was fine production-wise and musically, the show just didn’t surprise.  

They knew to do a few things for insurance, though.  They opened the show with Rihanna in that kickass potentially ugly red skirt-pant thing that did nothing so much as wash the image of the fresh-faced girl in that Oprah interview from all our minds.  She kicked ass like it was her job,  pointed out how her complexion is luminous enough to make Halle Berry’s look overworked, reminded me a little of Lauryn Hill way back in the day, and then, her work finished,  proceeded to put on a show after her show.  Oh, and it was good.

Rihanna and Katy Perry are for-real friends (it is so convenient that they are equally but differently beautiful) and you could tell every time the camera cut to them, which was every five seconds.  Not a surprise, since they were the only ones reacting to the actual show going on and made a great point of smiling/giggling at all the cute boys.

Um, except for one.  

When Drake won and the camera linnnnnngered on Katy and Rihanna and the friend on Riri’s other side?  Those were some LOOKS.  They were significant.  Now, I’ve read elsewhere that those looks were for Minaj, who later appeared to blow them off, but I know the difference between a look about dudes and a look about girls.  What happened there?  It was something, and the something was NOT good.  Which in turn makes for great TV.   Every time they cut to those girls, there was a new face to interpret. They were the VMA MVPs.  

Do you not want to be in the car with Riri and Katy and their friends afterward, yelling and screaming about whether you’re going to In-N-Out on the way back to the hotel, and someone finally going “Okay NOW can we talk about it?”  I feel like as long as you weren’t going to pull punches on talking sh*t, and would cough up for some vodka and sour candy, you’d be welcome at their slumber party.   This is a new life goal.