These pants are much better...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2010 13:47:40 March 17, 2010 13:47:40

Than the ones that gave him a big ass – this is Robert Pattinson in London tonight at the UK premiere of Remember Me quivering his home fans with co-star Emilie de Ravin and her amazing legs. Those legs could rival Jennifer Aniston’s. I keep seeing her as f-cked up crazy Claire in Lost with a hair rat on her head. She cleans up nice.

And he cleans up very, very handsome. Look how pretty he is when he remembers his Do & Don’t List. Mouth breathing is under control, clean shaven, no brooding constipation face, a lot of smiling, and even a little smirk. I like his smirk. It’s sexy. Better the smirk than his usual face, like he’s about to cry after orgasm. This is another attribute, aside from the entire career, that Pattinson should avoid having in common with Orly Bloom. No one wants a post-coital crier.

Many of you have asked whether or not I’ve seen Remember Me. The answer is No. However, I’m in Toronto next week. Laura and Lo, my two Pattison fangirl friends haven’t seen it yet either due to their own respective travel schedules. They had planned to go together, holding hands. I’m about to crash that party.

Photos from Dave Hogan/Ian Gavan/

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