FKA twigs is was in Paris yesterday for a performance. Robert Pattinson was seen leaving the venue with her, just after PEOPLE reported that the two had exchanged “promise rings”.

I didn’t know we still did that.

Isn’t an engagement ring a “promise” ring? Or is a “promise” ring like a pre-engagement ring? I’ve been monogamous for a long time. So I’m not up to date on the stages of monogamy. I feel like they keep adding stages of monogamy to monogamy. Or re-adding stages of monogamy to monogamy.

Anyway, the point is, PEOPLE’s source claims that Pattinson wants to marry twigs and that he’s “much more calm and happy than before”.

Before what?

Before like when he was with Kristen Stewart?


Pattinson was born in the Year of the Tiger. Since it’s Chinese Valentine’s Day, I should tell you that a Tiger’s most compatible love signs are Horse and Dog. Not compatible with Monkey and Snake.

Kristen Stewart is a Horse. That’s why they hooked up in the first place for a relationship that lasted several years and ran its course. I wouldn’t call that a disappointment.

Twigs is a Rabbit. There is no pre-set guide to the Tiger-Rabbit combination. It’s a mystery. The moon isn’t telling you the fate so you have to go with the flow. Obviously, in this case, it’s flowing.