Again…back to the pool feed.

Laura, my producer, who is still aching for him, almost launched herself off the balcony when he walked by. This is after Daniel Craig, her other love, had passed earlier and she barely reacted except to hiss into my face: Satsuki is ugly! We’ll save this for later.

For now… Robert Pattinson and his posing. On the pool feed his open mouth was attracting black flies from across the continent. Ridiculous.

And then – is it me or did he turn into Edward Cullen while he was presenting?

Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried present at Oscars

The dipped head, the brooding eyes, the constant cheek sucking, looking down, looking uncomfortable – now do you see why Dylan says he’s dorky?

But wait! Before you Twihards go batsh-t, let me try to placate you.

Rob Pattinson’s hair…he really does have great hair. And at the Vanity Fair party he did seem to loosen up after a few drinks.

Does that help?


Chances are that won’t help.

The Twilight freaks and super losers are very, very angry with me. Particularly in response to this article which prompted the following hate mail by a terribly offended Christy R who says my husband is a frog compared to her beloved Robert Pattinson!

I know you love these…

Dude i feel sorry for you and your ugly so called "tall" husband who looks like a frog! You two looked pretty weird at the party and many were appalled to have u there! so don't go where you are unwanted and stop make up bull sh-t that you cant back up we all know your all talk! you look like a witch you smell like washroom and when you put black eye shadow we can see how your eyes are slanted in and ugly way. Try to look more presentable when you are on TV it looks like you don't try..but who could blame you if anyone looked like you and were as bitter as you would look like that too..Sad...tres tres go back to your pathetic life making gossip caz that what you are best at.. Christy R

Care to revise your original assessment about which fans are the craziest?

Photos from and and

Herbal Essences