These photos and this video are making my life.

Robert Pattinson went to the movies on Saturday with his agent. Then he hit up a party in Malibu. The paps were all over him. First time? No but this time a tweaky Pattinson was extra agitated about the attention, whining that they were following him, trying to enlist the help of the cops who didn’t give a sh-t, wandering around seemingly aimlessly, rubbing his nose in his totally inconspicuous, non eye-catching, blend-in-anywhere car.

It’s the best. Listen to that beast. He’s grinding the sh-t out of her. Does this kid know how to drive? A Prius would be a little more manageable, non? X17 was glued to him that day and they claim he tapped a parked car when he was pulling out of his spot after the party. I don’t know what kind of f-ckery they’re up to with their editing but they don’t seem to include this part in the video.

What they do include however is Pattinson meandering from here to there looking at times annoyed, at times befuddled, at times obliging, and sometimes even amused. I really love it when at one point he stops in front of the cameras, just after hating on them for making his life miserable, like it’s a red carpet on the middle of the street allowing them to shoot him.

This amazingness is matched however by the random fangirl who decides that now would be the best time to engage him in conversation about ... public speaking?

It’s hard to make out exactly but to me it sounds like she’s inviting him to be the key note at a convention...!!!

What do they do at house parties in Malibu? He should go more often, especially if this is how he comes out.

Photos from AKM IMAGES/