Better than the alligator and the tea-pouring hands?

The Vanity Fair cover, remember? No? Click here for a refresher. As I noted at the time, directed to Robert Pattinson -- WHO IS F-CKING WITH YOU???

Here’s Pattinson on the cover of L’Uomo Vogue. The eyeliner is good. He’s very beautiful. He’d look great in a belted trench and I would have liked to see him in one that wasn’t accessorised with Flava Flav’s safety pin. Why did it have to be accessorised with Flava Flav’s safety pin? Why not just put him in the Cornucopia from The Hunger Games with a black leather trench coat and leave the other sh-t to Jared Leto? Jesus, this styling...

If Mad Max and Zoolander had a baby, it would look like Robert Pattinson in L’Uomo Vogue.

But hey, at least his tea-pouring hands aren’t delicately massaging an alligator.

Yesterday Pattinson was joined by Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner - the final pageant lap of the Twilight Triumvirate. (If we were in Rome, which one would be Caesar, and who are Pompey and Crassus? I’ll say Pattinson drops off early, like Crassus. And Stewart’s Caesar takes out Lautner’s Pompey, before Ashley Greene’s Brutus comes along for the big betrayal. You?) There was a live interview on MTV. I didn’t watch but here are some screencaps. LOVE Stewart’s sweater.