When you woke up today, did you think I’d compliment Robert Pattinson OVER Colin Firth?

I am about to.

So, in our ongoing review of new trailers I may have missed over the last week or so due to sh-tty wireless at Comic-Con, this is the one they’ve released for Bel Ami due in theatres... I have no idea. The last I heard it had no North American distribution, although maybe that’s changed after the cougars screamed at him in San Diego.

Only they would be able to sit through what looks to be, at least judging from this clip, a terrible, terrible movie. You can tell that it’s terrible from the captions. They’ve captioned something about his “charm will open doors”, and they do nothing to show you what that charm may be, only the reaction that that purported charm elicits – every woman is heaving and panting in the two and a half minute preview – which is less about the actual story and its development than it is about giving the Twilight moms a relatable latch to hold onto, since the source material would probably escape them.

Having said that, even though the film itself seems a mess, there are refreshing glimpses here of that alleged acting ability of Pattinson’s that has yet to reveal itself in any of his previous efforts through no fault of his own, I guess, really, because Twilight isn’t exactly a fertile environment in which to showcase a craft, unless that craft happens to be constipation face and if that’s the case, well done.

I almost believe him when he stalks into the room threatening to “ruin you”; I like it when he spazzes out and throws everyone out of his house; I think he’s very good when he’s biting his (tea-pouring) hand and weeping; and when he’s walking out with his face in the sunlight, a mixture of smug triumph and naive hope on his face, and the delivery and expression of the line “I despise you!” is very, very good too. Everyone said that Remember Me, which sucked, would succeed in offering Pattinson the opportunity to prove he’s more than just a really goodlooking person. Water For Elephants too. As someone with no vested interest and who frankly, obviously, isn’t a member of “Robsessiveness”, I don’t think that Remember Me or Water For Elephants accomplished that. Objectively though, I do think that Bel Ami, as bad as it looks, very much can. And I wonder if the difference isn’t that he’s speaking with his own accent here, instead of weird hybrid American one, so that the acting seems much more effortless.

Put it this way – based on their trailers, if I had to, I’d rather see Robert Pattinson’s Bel Ami than Colin Firth’s Main Street. Who am I?