Thanks to Sasha for sending me these – outtakes from Robert Pattinson’s GQ photo shoot. Way better than the ones they chose, non? Any one of these would have worked far better than that side-lie penis pose. You will note however that there always has to be one with his mouth ajar.

Yes, twihards, yes. He’s a beautiful boy. But …beautiful to the point of androgyny? This is my problem I think with Robert Pattinson. He’s gorgeous. I get it. But I can’t picture him having sex. Not sure if he can picture himself having sex.

According to Gatecrasher Rob was at a bar in NYC on Saturday night and was overheard saying to a friend: “I can’t get laid [in N.Y.C.]” To which the friend replied: “A blind person with a British accent could get tail.” And then an attractive girl walked up to him, started giving him the business, he told her he’d be back, and walked out of the bar. See? Asexual. He’s an amoeba. A perfect, exquisite amoeba.

PS. Calm down Vancouver. Those photos of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart you're seeing supposedly on set of New Moon circulating today - they were taken last week. They are not in town right now. Kristen is in LA today for the Adventureland premiere tonight. Rob... no clue...but hopefully at Natalie Portman's house.