How about one for the Twi-Hards?

Robert Pattinson is working on a film in Toronto. I live in Toronto. He was on set today with a cow. Dragging the cow. I am a cow. A f-cking cow. Let's just go ahead and call the cow Lainey, even though Lainey is a blonde cow. They couldn't find a dark brown cow?

It does make a lot of sense though. After all, I was born the Year of the Ox. And the word for ox and the word for cow is the same in Chinese. In Cantonese it sounds like "ngau". So, yeah, call me a cow. You'd be speaking the truth.

Pattinson is a Tiger, very compatible with the Year of the Horse right now. As I've mentioned on this site, Tigers had a rough ride the previous two years during the Dragon and the Snake. My ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, is a Tiger. It was sh-t. For both her and, um, Pattinson too. But there's a turnaround with the Horse. So much so that a Tiger, the Horse's best friend, can protect the Rat who's due for a terrible year. Curiously, you know who's a Horse?

Kristen Stewart.