And why not? As I promised last week, if Rocky could secure a jail sentence for Hollywood Ebola, he would sit atop the Freebie Five for a month. But given Paris’s sentence, why not 45 days? That’s how long she’s supposed to be locked up, non?

As for whether or not she’s really going to be locked up, many are predicting a very short stay in the slammer, if at all. The Hiltons are appealing the decision and with prison overcrowding, as was the case with Michelle Rodriguez, even IF she ends up in jail, it is said to be unlikely that she’ll serve the entire sentence.

Then again, many were skeptical she’d even be sentenced to prison time at all…and so it goes without saying – being that there is no one more universally despised than Paris Hilton and given the popularity and approval with which her sentence was received, the authorities, including my Rocky, clearly have it hard up for Hollywood Ebola and as such likely intend to make her journey as difficult as possible….ESPECIALLY now that the entire family acted like cocks during the hearing.

Have you seen the footage?

First, Paris arrives late, gets out of her SUV, and – this was my favourite, I actually watched it 3 times on my PVR – initially her hands were clasped in front of her…then when she stepped into prime paparazzi view, she hitches one hand into her pocket and STARTS STRUTTING down the catwalk. I’m telling you – it was gold.

In the courtroom, more typical Paris Hilton flair – just before the judge announced his decision, she “looked down discreetly into her purse at a compact and checked her makeup”, fully prepared for a staged reaction, whatever the ruling would be.

But that’s nothing compared to the mother, Kathy Hilton, who charged up to the prosecutor (my Rocky?) afterwards and hissed, “You’re pathetic…can I have your autograph?” prompting a few sheriff’s deputies to come over with a warning, which caused Kathy in turn to start screeching and dramatizing “Don’t you touch me, don’t you touch me!”

After that, she stormed out, but not before announcing to anyone within earshot “The judge made up his mind before he even came in today. If it were anyone else, this would’ve never happened. And after all the money we spent!”

Do you love it, or do you LOVE it???

Of course, as expected in these situations, there almost always has to be a scapegoat – in this case her publicist Elliot Mintz, now fired for his negligence…because somehow it’s his fault she’s an overprivileged piece of sh-t. So leave it to whoever’s in charge now, likely her lawyer, to draft Paris’s first statement since her sentencing, click here for the clip:

"I told the truth yesterday. I feel that I was treated unfairly. It"s both cruel and unwarranted." Dumb bitch could barely memorise three short sentences. Not surprising though – playing the victim card, how utterly unimaginative.

And still...Paris Hilton now faced with the reality of Universal Hatred...tastes so sweet.