Dear Gossips,

Sports Illustrated announced this weekend that for the first time in the history of the Swimsuit Edition, there are three different covers featuring three different women: Ronda Rousey, Ashley Graham, and Hailey Clauson. This was revealed at some kind of live event, where all three women were brought up on stage to be surprised.

And everyone’s acting like this is some kind of revolution. Is it? Is it really a revolution?

Before we get to that, let’s talk about the moment of the “reveal”. Here’s the video below:

Ronda Rousey has won, like, I don’t even know how many world championships. Some consider her to be the best female athlete of all time. This is debatable, OBVIOUSLY, but my point is that she’s being treated here like she entered a bake-off and that they’re doing her a favour by bringing her out as a finalist before what could be the greatest achievement of her life.

Anyway, about these three covers…

Of course it’s awesome for Ashley Graham, the first size 16 model to be featured on the cover. And f-ck yes, Ronda Rousey’s body is a beautiful thing. And, yeah, sure, promoting body positivity is definitely worth a gold star.

Diversity, body positivity, equal representation – this conversation has been getting louder and louder the last few years. And they knew they’d probably eat some sh-t if they went with their same old same old. OK but take a look at Hailey Clauson’s cover:

That looks a lot like same old same old to me. Textbook Sports Illustrated. The women are always either teasing that they have their tops off and covering their nipples with their fingers, or taunting you by posing like they’re about to show you some pussy. Examples:

Hanna Davis, 2015

Brooklyn Decker, 2010

Bar Rafaeli, 2009

So… is it really a revolution? Or does it feel like a compromise?

Let’s make sure these bitches don’t yell at us so we’ll throw them a bone with the Ronda Rousey and the size 16 but, don’t worry, we got you, Leo, and we’ll still be repping the standard unrealistic titties and asses.

Um, great. Thanks?

Sports Illustrated has been doing this for 52 years. So that standard? The same old? It’s had 52 opportunities to be front and centre. How then is this “making history” when, really, it’s more like holding on to history? And the status quo.

Or maybe my ass is just crusty because it’s been a week since Beyoncé gave us the Formation and I’m waiting for the next instruction.

Yours in gossip,