Getting pounded by emails today re: Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis...

Before you panic over any gossip story, please always stop and consider the source. Here’s how I usually operate:

If it comes from Star, In Touch, Life & Style, and OK!, it’s like I never read the headline. For those of you interested in this sort of thing, and it’s worth noting if you consider yourself an above average gossip student, Star and The National Enquirer are owned by the same company and In Touch and Life & Style also fall under one parent publisher. Puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?

So the story today is that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis are heading for a split and have already met with lawyers and he’s despondent. Click here for the full report. The report originates from Radar Online.

I know you’re wringing your hands...

But consider first that Radar is part of the Star/National Enquirer family. They’re all American Media Inc. Which is why Radar is always straddling on stories from both those magazines. My point? Radar isn’t exactly TMZ. Radar kept pushing the Mariah Yeater, Justin Bieber is my baby father claims, remember?

Having said that...

Johnny seemed weird to some people the latter part of 2011. There was the falling down incident - click here for a refresher - and that led to speculation about him being an addict (!) and somehow they’ll find a way to work Angelina Jolie into it because she ruins everything and suddenly he’s Charlie Sheen and what the f-ck, are Johnny and Vanessa over???

All I know is that when they were shooting The Tourist in Venice, the Brange household was peace and children and love and the Depp household consisted of Vanessa giving Johnny the gears for the same reasons any exasperated wife might give her husband the gears if he doesn’t take out the trash on time or sits around farting into the couch playing video games when she comes home with 8 bags of groceries and can’t kick the door open. Johnny always smiled back he enjoys that she’s a hardass who can and will give him sh-t. And that just seemed like the dynamic of the relationship.

Whether or not that’s changed and if it’s really over...?

You know what I always say: Gossip is a buffet; you decide what you want to believe. My recommendation in this case?

30 true/70 bullsh-t at BEST. I don’t think you need to worry about it over the weekend.

Here... watch this again, it’ll make you feel better.