Why are articles on babies so f-cking stupid?

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling had a daughter a week ago today. Officially this is unconfirmed, because they wouldn’t even announce that she was pregnant. And they kept it really, really undercover the whole time. There are no belly-cupping shots of Eva. We’ve never seen a shot of her bump. But now PEOPLE is reporting that both of them are really happy, especially Ryan:

"Ryan is madly in love with the baby," a source tells PEOPLE of the infatuated father, 33, adding that Mendes, 40, is loving her new title of "mom."

Why is it that men have to be singled out for their contentment when they become fathers? Is it rare? Is he the first man to have fallen “madly in love” with his child? Is that supposed to add to his attractiveness? If anything it takes away from his attractiveness. Because if you have to point out to me that he was overjoyed at the birth of his child like it’s not a normal reaction for him, I’m wondering why he wouldn’t normally be overjoyed at the birth of his child.

So I could have made up this quote and reported it. Because, what? What could his publicist possibly say to me?

Retract that, Lainey. It’s not true.
Oh, so it’s not true that he adores his baby?

You know what you could tell me, PEOPLE Magazine, that would actually be news?

How about HER NAME???

No one knows her name. Just like we don’t know Evan Rachel Wood’s baby name. And Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer weren’t forthcoming with that information either. In the absence of any real information, a father falling “madly in love” with his newborn is what we get.