Ryan Gosling has been in Paris the last couple of days promoting Lost River. Eleven months ago, in France, he presented his film at the Cannes Film Festival to pretty sh-tty reviews. The critics seemed to take it so personally that Gosling’s directorial debut wasn’t as impressive as his acting efforts. I understand. It’s kinda like…you’re SO good at that thing you do. But it doesn’t mean you’re going to be good at that thing you want to do.

It’s been a year though. And there are other people to pick fights with. Like James Franco. So now that Lost River is rolling out, I don’t sense that the hate is as intense as it was.

Can we talk about how he looks now? Because everyone’s all like, oh, Handsome Ryan Gosling is in Paris. That’s the Ryan Gosling Effect. He makes it so that people don’t use their real eyes when they’re looking at him. All you’re seeing is him in Crazy Stupid Love. Come on. Admit it. Because here?

Here is not so good. With your real eyes, it’s really not so good. In that suit, especially, and the hair with the sideburns, doesn’t he look like the high school quarterback who peaked at 18? Un-fresh is the word that comes to mind. Which, I mean he’s tired. He’s been travelling. But you’ve seen Ryan Gosling a lot cuter. You know you have.