Ryan Gosling was on the TIFF list of expected attendees released yesterday. And you know what happens when Ryan is anywhere. Or nowhere. Every day there’s a phantom Ryan Gosling sighting. Sometimes he’s in Melbourne. Yesterday someone emailed from Miami squealing about a Facebook mention of him at a coffee house. He was not in Miami. He was in Los Angeles. Doing reshoots for Gangster Squad, seen here greeting a crew member and then filming a scene.

And then there are the colouring books, and the Easter eggs, and have you seen this, the Ryan Gosling body pillow? F-ck Ryan Gosling makes us stupid. And it’s not his fault, really. It’s just... the way women react about him. Embarrassing. Expect a lot of this at TIFF. And I can’t wait. In fact, I think we should run a feature every day during the festival profiling a particularly ardent fan and call it the Daily Gos-Hard, the highlight of which will be when (hopefully) he and Eva Mendes debut themselves on the red carpet holding hands. Is it terrible to hope for a meltdown that we can all enjoy?