Sasha and I were emailing about this yesterday - it’s the same joy, though not quite as pronounced, that we get from Mariah Carey’s inability to walk, or her overuse of the word “bleak”, or when she complains about her twin pregnancy and what she had to endure...

Such is Ryan Lochte’s dumbness.

It’s a beautiful, beautiful, wonderful thing that brings a lot of happiness to a lot of people.

Lochte was on Good Morning America today. Listen to him, bless him, working his brain so hard to answer the first question, and not a particularly challenging one at that. He is an instant smile. How can you not smile watching Ryan Lochte try to have a conversation? I especially enjoy it when he works “bro” into a discussion. A “bro” + “jeah” combination is even better.

As mentioned yesterday, there’s been a lot of talk about Lochte on Dancing With The Stars. Again, he’s perfect for it. He’s perfect for a guest appearance on Jersey Shore too. But Lochte says he’s not interested in The Bachelor. Why would he need to be? Ashley Greene is probably on hold right now to audition to be his girlfriend even though he’s apparently holding out for Blake Lively. Blake Lively is unlikely. Kate Upton on the other hand... America’s brain would explode, non?

Every day there’s a new Ryan Lochte compilation. So far, the Jezebel post I linked to yesterday is still my favourite both for the expression “clit-shrinking” and for the part about him “steering his white Range Rover with his knee, sitting far down in the bucket seats, blasting Lil Wayne”....


OMG, I love him.

Second to Jezebel though is Complex’s Guide To Looking Like An Olympic Douchebag. Click here to read. These days people overuse the expression Laugh Out Loud. Too much. It’s too bad because I’ll say it now and it won’t hit you the way it should - that every day of these Games, Ryan Lochte has made me laugh out loud.

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