It’s not the same, is it? Promoting a movie without the perfect wife, selling tickets on the strength of your carb face douchebaggery alone, hoping that the 17 year olds who pined for you 10 years ago will still find you attractive today…

This is Ryan Phillippe’s new reality.

Was refreshing though to see him in something other than a sweaty beater and sports shorts last night at the premiere of Stop Loss. He worked it as best he could. But the truth is… Ryan peaked too early. Some dudes take their time, you know? To grow into their hotness, letting it simmer to a sexy boil.

Ryan on the other hand… Ryan was cute for maybe 5 years. Cruel Intentions plus and minus a couple. Max.

These days however, in comparison to his Hollywood counterparts – Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, Leonardo DiCaprio – who the hell is Ryan Phillippe but the idiot who cheated on Reese Witherspoon repeatedly on location, including in Vancouver where he was sleeping with three different waitresses working at the same Cactus Club? Who indeed???

PS. Abbie Cornish was conspicuously absent last night… no doubt avoiding the inevitable and distracting interest in their relationship. They are however working on another new project together this year.

Photos from and