Ryan Seacrest at the Playboy Mansion

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 11, 2006 12:00:00 April 11, 2006 12:00:00
For Hef"s birthday party. A wasted invitation, if you ask me. The poor fag looks like he"s about to throw up. But that"s not the point. Can I draw your attention to the lovely lady on his right? The one in blue? Now tell me - is it a good job or a bad job when your fake, uneven tits repel each other? I"m all for "engineereed" natural floppage but that seems rather extreme, non? And yet - even though they hang oddly, even though the imbalance is rather distracting - I still can"t take my eyes off them. This, my friends, is the power of the breast implant. As weird as they look, as uncomfortably concrete as they seem, fake breasts are undeniably mesmerising. Who can resist staring at a woman with fake tits??? Not me. Not anyone else I know. So why did I spend years developing killer eyef&ck when I could have achieved the same results - and probably more - with a spectacular set of manufactured guns and very nice bra?

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