Please.

What else do you want to look at?

Duana was here a couple of weeks ago and gave me a lesson in Breast Dressing and it really is the most frustrating, when something fits you everywhere else except for Right There, and as a result, the blouse or jacket or whatever, it pulls and creases in places it shouldn’t.

Or you could be Salma Hayek and just force the zipper up as far as it will go.

This is Salma last night in West Hollywood after dinner at Madeo. I don’t understand how that sits down, never mind how that eats pasta. Oh but it’s lovely, non? It’s the difference between Porny and not Porny. If Jessica Simpson attempted the same, it would be obscene. Mostly because of her blonde and cocklips, but also because Jessica has those linebacker shoulders and small thick neck.

Salma however is small everywhere else. Physically, that is. Because of course the Salma we love is huge on drama and theatricality and Me-ness which should serve her well as Kitty opposite Antonio Banderas’s Puss in Boots in the animated Shrek spin-off in theatres next November with Zach Galifianakis as Humpty Dumpty. The three of them are trying to steal the Goose and the Golden Eggs.

Come on now, that sounds pretty good. Also it gives us an excuse to call her Kitty. Yeah, I’m still child, but you can’t deny it’s funny, especially when you picture her face when she hated the snake.


Photos from Fame