SPOILER!!! Look away if you can’t handle!!!

It’s not the dress and it’s not the feather. On someone softer, on someone with some vavoom, on someone who could at least fill out the bust… it’s all good.

However, with her horse face and the witch boil on her chin and the veins and the arms and the garish red lips, it’s now become a Drag Queen Wedding mixed in with a little bit o’ Helen Gurley Brown, former editor of Cosmopolitan. What makes it more pathetic is that it’s supposed to be sold as the most high stylish ensemble, like, ever in the history of all weddings.

Not happening.

Here’s SJP shooting for Sex & The City yesterday – obviously she’s the bride. And although Big was nowhere to be seen, word from the set is that Carrie will indeed get married which, to me, is all kindsa wrong. Call me Cruise but my Carrie wasn’t the marrying girl. Then again, an outlandish plot twist and an 11th hour bail out at the altar could be the answer which in and of itself is some lame sh-t anyway…

Seriously…why are they making this movie???

On the plus side, the girls look great. Especially Charlotte. That black dress is a masterpiece.