I’m 23 and a virgin. I’ve been casually seeing this guy (he’s 27) for about two months now. He’s really sweet, but apart from movies and tv shows, we don’t have all that much in common. We get along great and we never run out of things to talk about, and yet we haven’t really opened up about real personal stuff (I haven’t told him I’m still a virgin) and I only know his likes, dislikes and hobbies, not much about his family or friends, or childhood, or anything like that, and the same goes for him about me.
The thing is I’ve kind of been thinking about calling it quits, but then we go out on a date and I have a really pleasant time, and think that maybe if I give it a real chance it might just work out. On paper, he’s close to the kind of guy I’m looking for, but I don’t feel that spark. If anything, I’m with him mostly because I don’t want to be lonely.
The main reason I’m still a virgin is that I’ve loved most of my exes but was never in love with any of them, and I don’t even love this one, I just like him, but then I don’t want to be 24 and still a virgin. help!
This is such a personal decision that for me to give you advice on who should pop your cherry or not feels...I don’t know, a little out of my jurisdiction.
From what I can sense though, the idea of you being a virgin seems to have evolved over the years. When you were younger you wanted to find your Prince Charming and now that you’re a bit older you just want to find someone….charming. Right?
Look, you’ve obviously held out this long because you want to feel a special connection with a dude, so it seems like a bit of a waste to give the goods up to someone you have a daily debate about breaking up with. If this guy doesn’t fit the bill then don’t try to convince yourself.
A, I’m sure you’ve seen enough chick flicks to know that the first time - the actual in and out action - isn’t all that awesome. But what can be awesome is doing it with someone you really know, you really trust and you really like. I know that this V-card of yours feels like it’s coming up on its expiration date, but my advice would be to trust your gut, the way you have this whole time, and wait for someone that’s worthy.
Thanks for writing in and keep me posted! And keep your LIFE + STYLE questions rolling in here.