My 35th birthday is coming up about a month from now. I don’t have much in the way of family and friends to celebrate with (we are new to the city we live in), so I haven’t made any plans yet. In fact, I hadn’t really thought about it until today. I’m not sure what I want to do this year, but the reason it was brought to my attention today is that I just received an email invitation to attend my sister's boyfriend’s surprise birthday party next month (they live in the same city as us, but have been here for a few years longer and are much more outgoing and social than my husband and me).  Except...

My sister scheduled her boyfriend's surprise birthday party for my birthday! This is logistically understandable because our birthdays (his and mine) are five days apart, and my birthday is the Saturday night that week. However, there is absolutely no mention on the invitation of it being my birthday too, and obviously I am not being jointly included in the “surprise” part of the party. I would gladly go to the party if it was being held any other day, but I know I will resent all the attention, gifts, etc. being directed towards him by his friends and family, while the fact that it is actually my birthday is either ignored or unknown by other party goers.

I texted my sister to ask her if she realized the party was scheduled for my birthday, and her response was: "Yes I know I meant to apologize about that. It was the only weekend we could do it. I hope you can come! But I understand if you can’t."

My solution would be to go away for the night or the weekend, but we are a bit short on cash these days. What would you recommend I do in this situation? Should I go the party and suck it up by not saying anything about my birthday, or should I plan something else for that night?


I’m all for gifts and people being extra nice to me on my birthday, but beyond that, do people really give a sh-t about what they do after 19 and before 39?

Well, evidently you do S, which is fine, but dude, you’re being quite precious about it all. I mean, you have diddly squat sh-t to do, yet you don’t want to do the one fun thing that’s happening. Okay, okay, I know it’s not ideal that your sister planned her bf’s party the very same day of your birthday, but like, I don’t want to rub it in again, but you literally have nothing to do and apparently no friends to do anything with. Is this a bad time to say Happy Birthday????? 

Listen, I know you’re probably a bit more sensitive living in a new city and all, I get how lonely that can feel, but the only way to meet new people is to actually go meet new people. So if I were you I’d look at this as a great opportunity to do just that, even if that means selflessly sacrificing your special day. A, I think the pay-off of meeting new people will be the real gift in all of this.

So here’s an idea!  Plan a nice dinner with your man the night before so you can feel like you’ve celebrated you and only you. Then treat yourself to a fly new outfit, throw it on and allow yourself to have some fun. Stop the pity party and actually go to a party.

Thanks for writing in and seriously, I hope you have a great birthday!!! xx