Sasha! Help! I have two destination weddings in a month and am unable to determine proper destination wedding gift etiquette. I'm spending well over a thousand dollars just to attend each wedding do I also shell out for an expensive gift?


I’ve never really thought about what I consider a “destination” wedding to be, but after mulling it over for a couple of minutes I’ve come up with my own definition.  To me it’s when a group of people, including the bride and groom, are travelling out of the country.  Does this sound about right to you? 

The reason why this confused me so much is because I’ve travelled to a lot of places to attend friends’ weddings, but I’ve never considered it a “destination” because that’s where they are from.  While I’m still travelling to get there, I’m going to where they live, and to me that’s different. So when it comes to gift-giving in these scenarios I always give the full meal deal.

Now let’s talk about a true destination wedding, you know, where everyone jumps on a plane to some tropical location.  In my experience these ones are not only more of a time commitment but of course also more of a financial commitment.  Now how much you want to spend on a gift is really up to you, but to go empty handed is super lame in my opinion. 

Look, if you say yes to going you need to budget accordingly and that budget needs to include a wedding gift.   I’m not saying it has to be expensive, but something small off their registry or some cash is good etiquette.   If you can’t afford what you’d normally give then I think I a good rule of thumb is cutting the usual amount by 50%.  (Lainey -- or, you know, you could make a video of the homeless and offer that up instead.)

Have fun and drink up all the free booze!