Dear Sasha I really need your help. This is going to sound very after school special but I’ve run into a moral dilemma and need your help. Long story short I had a few quickies with this hot guy I work with and after a few months of having sex I found out that he gave me an STD. (I’d rather not say which kind) I’ve taken care of it but now I’m dating another guy, whom I really really like, so my question is do I tell him that I have this STD and this is where it gets bad because I’ve already slept with him. I feel awful but I know I was healthy before we slept together so I know he won’t get it but do I still have to tell him? L
Dude, if you can tell me and we aren’t even banging, then where’s the logic in not telling the person that you are actually having sex with?!
I don’t care if you’re embarrassed or nervous or scared, you are not allowed to f-ck with someone’s health. The end. Seriously, this clocks in high on the sketch-bag meter, so L I need you to drop whatever you’re doing now and let this guy know today.
Listen, there’s no amazing way of delivering this news but it’s best to be direct, meaning you gotta go face-to-face and straight up let him know the type of STI you have, and how you got it. I’m not suggesting you have to share every nitty-gritty detail about your past relationships, but showing him that you’re open to talking and answering questions will only make him more comfortable. The next thing you need to do is lay down a major f-cking SORRY.
What happens from there….I have no idea, but L, you’ll have to accept and respect his decision. As for you, I seriously hope this is a wake-up call to never ever do this again. I’m sure it’s not super fun to have to tell all your future partners that you have an STI but that’s just your reality.
Look, we all have crap we have to deal with, things we may regret, better decisions we could have made, but you gotta own that sh-t instead of hiding from it and I’d hate to see this mild physical issue become more of a psychological one that not only f-cks you up but f-cks up other unknowing people that come into your life. And who knows, when you talk to him, you may find out that he's had an STI too.
Thanks for writing in and keep your questions coming to [email protected].