Hi Sasha, I have a problem I am hoping you can help with. First, a little background. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and its a great relationship, the best I have ever had. We are planning on getting engaged soon, and now I am freaking out.  See, I live in Colorado where Marijuana is legal.  My boyfriend works in the Marijuana industry. I have no problem with this whatsoever, but have avoided telling my family because they are very conservative.   Also, I get concerned that if my parents end up being ok with his job, and we have a wedding, his friends will smoke pot in front of my family, because most of his friends are assholes like that.  Every wedding I have attended with him, has been a drug fest, with people smoking pot outside and doing coke in the bathrooms.  The thought of this happening at our wedding makes me so stressed out and want to call everything off. I can’t stop thinking and stressing about it. What should I do. Thanks, S.


I’m having trouble really understanding how really you feel about this because if you say you have "no problem with it", then why are you having a problem with it?!

I’m a total outsider in all of this, but it's pretty clear that if your boyfriend’s business is weed and all of his friends smoke weed then yes, there’s going to be weed smoking at your wedding. I mean, no f-cking joke that’s going to happen. And as for the coke, yes, totally lame, but I’ve yet to go to a wedding (including sadly, my own) where some random heat-score isn’t doing rails off the bathroom sink.  

S, I don’t mean to come off flip, I just think you need to fully accept that this crew is and will always be in a constant state of 4:20. So listen, if you’re really stressing about this wedding, then I think you need to puff-puff-pass on the idea of having one wedding and instead, have two separate events.  One, a small conservative ceremony and reception with the families and close non-drug taking friends - or at least people who can hold their shit together for one evening. And a second, a full blown, up in smoke party with all the other "assholes". That or elope. 

Have fun breaking the news to your parents! xx