Sasha I’m so embarrassed and I need your advice.  I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of weeks and the other night we did anal.  I can’t bear to tell you the details but let’s just say things got messy. OMG.  I’m so embarrassed. And the guy hasn’t called me since. The look on his face after….. I want to die. What should I do?  N


Well, first thing I need to say is: MOM! I love you and thank you for reading every word I write but I’m going to need you to go do something right now and not read this. Got it?

Okay, N back to you...

I know every molecule in your body is dying of embarrassment, but honestly, (and I’m not saying this to make you feel better), the only really embarrassing thing here is the pussy-ass way this dude handled the situation.  

You are two consensual adults who agreed to do the deed that everybody with half a brain knows isn’t the squeakiest of clean activities. So for you to be the only one carrying the burden of “shame” is, well, sh-tty. Yes that pun was intended as a segue to my next point which is that: yes, poo comes out of a butt hole, especially when a dick is plunging it out. Like, if you’re going to put something up there, then you have to know that it’s pretty f-cking likely that something will come out.

Look, I’m not going to pretend that if this happened to me I wouldn’t be haunted by it for a couple of days too, but at a certain point you just have to just surrender to the fact that things like this just happen and there’s no use in slaying yourself over it.

And N, I want to really make sure you know that the blunder here is not that you chose to have anal sex – it’s your body and you can do with it what you wish; the only thing that was a slight oversight was who you chose to do it with. So my suggestion is that the next time someone comes a knockin’ on your back door, make sure you really really REALLY trust the person before you let ‘em on in.

I hope this has made you feel a little bit better and of course, keep me posted! Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming my way to [email protected]