My long-time friend has been dating this guy on/off for the past 13 years and he FINALLY proposed.  Of course my friend is all excited.  To be honest, I have never been a great fan of this guy but it is her relationship. 

Two weeks ago, I was in London for a conference and I got together with her.  Of course she shows me her ring.  She shoved her hand right up to my face and said "isn't it amazing?" First of all, it was honestly, the ugliest ring I have ever seen but to each their own with the style.  However, it was clearly evident that this ring was crystals, not diamonds.  Crystals. I can spot a fake as fast as I can real.

So I very, very carefully said the next statement.  "Wow.  That ring is unique.  I am glad you like it."

But then the next statement really bugged me.  "I know.  He must have spent a fortune on it."

I really don't want to tell her it is a fake but at the same time, I want to tell her.  What should I do?  I really don't want to create a problem especially when, ever since she was 14 years old, all she ever wanted to do is get married and have kids and now this might happen for her? S


Dude, don’t be a dink. That’s just the short and long of it right there.

Sorry, but I just can’t help but feel like you’re not being a nice friend about this at all. You’re positioning it like you're concerned for her, but if I can be honest - and I hope you can be honest about it too - I feel like you’ve never had a really good reason to not like this guy and now you see this as your chance to call him out. That doesn’t sit well with me.

Does she have a fake rock on her finger? F-ck, I don’t really care. The more important question I want you to answer is: Why do you want to sh-t on your friend’s parade? Because if you offered up your opinion on this, that’s precisely what you’d be doing. And let’s get to that opinion, because frankly it’s just that – an opinion.  

Can you really rely on your eye as to whether it’s real or fake? Much like you S, I too consider myself a quality connoisseur, and there’s no way I could tell. I mean, cubic zirconia and Swarovski crystals look damn-ass good these days, so unless he bought it out of a vending machine, I really don’t think you’ve got diamond dealer accuracy.

Okay, but fine, for arguments sake let’s pretend you’re right and the rock is indeed a fake. Well, have you given it a thought that maybe money is tight and this is the best they can do right now? Maybe she’s knows that it’s not a real diamond and she’s just saving face so that people - like YOU - don’t judge her? You wouldn’t want to shame her for that, would you?

Look, here’s the bottom line: the only thing that really matters in this situation is that the relationship she has with her fiancé is REAL. That’s the only thing you should be really concerned about.

Thanks for writing in and taking my slight beating.  Keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming to [email protected]