Dear Sasha, I have had a major crush on my male coworker for several months now. It all started because several people said he was really into me. At first I had no interest because I know workplace relationships are usually doomed to fail and will only end in awkwardness. But this guy grew on me. We have had a mutual flirtation going on. I finally realized my feelings and was pretty confident he felt the same. I got up the courage to send him an email asking him out. He emailed me back that he was busy. The flirtation continued. About 2 months after that I sent him another email asking if we could just talk and clear the air about my advances. He didn't respond so I cornered him outside one day. I was totally honest and told him that I liked him. His response? He doesn't date coworkers. Apparently he had an incident in the past that did not end well, which is also why he did not respond to my email for fear of having something in writing that could get him into trouble. I sent him one more email basically telling him this, but that I respected his decision and if he should ever change his mind to contact me. For the next few days, he avoided me. I decided to be the bigger person and made the first move to say hello and talk to him. Things are fairly back to normal, but I am struggling. I feel embarrassed. I am not desperate or a stalker or anything, but I still really like him. It is hard for me to see him every day, but at the same time I look forward to any interaction with him. I am a 40 year old woman and I feel like a lovestruck teenager. Please help! S
Let me start off with a quote: “Love is like a fart…if you have to force it then it’s probably sh-t”.
It really sums up this whole situation, don’t you think?
Look, high fives all around for putting aside your fears and going after this guy. Your no-mess-around approach was awesome, but sadly buddy is not interested. Let’s be honest: I think he’s using the whole work thing as an excuse. Sure dating a co-worker can get hella messy, but horniness always wins out. I think if he was really down with your cause there is no way he could resist you. So to sum it up, I’m calling bullsh-t on his explanation.
Also, side note: what kind of lame-o is too afraid to respond back to an email? That’s kind of pussy-ass, don’t you think? I mean, I don’t know about you, but I like a dude who has some balls and he sounds like he has two shriveled up turds.
S, I get that this situation sucks, but trust me, pining for him is just a waste of time. I know you’ve been crushing on him for a while, but it’s time to put that energy towards someone who can reciprocate similar feelings otherwise, seriously, what’s the point. Give yourself another day to boo-hoo, but come Wednesday….no more. Walk into work with some gusto and find some new tail who’s a little more willing to be tapped. Okay? Good.
Hope this helps! xx
