I just got out of a 10 year relationship that went on 9 years longer than it should have. We were mismatched on everything and I should have left sooner but was comfortable and complacent.  Realizing I love my best friend gave me motivation to leave.

I have not told my friend how I feel but I am confident he loves me too. I am certain that once I tell him, we will fall into a pretty serious relationship quickly. But it seems a bit gross for me to jump right into something serious. I’m concerned about the optics of the situation, particularly from my former partner’s point of view. How long do I need to wait before confessing everything to my guy BF? F 


Sh-t, if anyone should know about the horse sh-t of “optics” it's.... um…you.

Dude, you just spent 9 years fronting a life that you didn’t want so why the f-ckity f-ck do you want to waste any more time not being with someone who you KNOW you want to be with?

Who the hell cares what people will have to say because the reality is the people who talk smack will talk smack whether you confess your love tomorrow or a year from now. Also, by the way, who cares what anyone has to say. You’ve clearly spent a decade of your life bound by that idea and it sure as sh-t wasn’t the way to go. Right? Right. So screw other people’s expectations or any third party pressures and just do you. 

F, I need you stop reading this now and go confess your undying love. 

Keep me posted and thanks for writing in! xx