Sasha, so there's this guy T, who has been one of my best friends for almost 5 years now. We met freshman year in college, remained super close throughout our 4 years there, were in the same close group of friends, etc. I bet you can tell where this story is going. Basically, I have liked this guy the whole time I've known him. We hooked up once and never really addressed it,
just ignored it and continued on with our friendship exactly as it was. We both had various relationships with other people over the years, but there was always this flirtation and, at least on my part, deep, deep crush that remained. When we graduated, he and I kept in touch, texting and talking almost every day, but since we both lived in different cities, This past summer I received a text from him telling me how much he missed me and that he really wanted to talk to me, and that he was planning a visit to see me. The talk and visit never happened, but we continued talking throughout the summer, and he kept mentioning visiting, even though the visit never actually happened. I moved to Europe this September and we never exchanged emails (he doesn't have a fb or twitter), so we haven't spoken since, but the last time we talked he said he was planning a trip to visit me. This guy has been basically my "fantasy" relationship for 5 years. Whenever a relationship failed for me, I would always indirectly blame it on me being
hung up on T. Now that I'm in Europe (a remote part of Europe that isn't exactly known for its amazing guy population), I've been thinking about T even more and wondering if I should just find out his email from one of our many shared friends and straight up email him, letting him know my feelings.
Please, Sasha, help me! I haven't been able to have a real relationship with any guy because I feel like I've been so hung up on T. Is it even worth it to pursue T and tell him how I feel? E
Have you heard of psychic cords before? Relax, I’m not going all voodoo on your ass, but in short, a psychic cord is that tugging, indescribable emotional attachment that you have for some people in your life. You are just somehow connected to their energy, whether good or bad. And this T guy sounds like one of those people who is just difficult to shake from your psyche.
Some people don’t mind being “attached” in this way. And E, while it’s been hard thinking about this guy for so long, I’m sure there have been times when escaping to this “fantasy” land you've created has helped through times of loneliness. But after five long years I think it's time to take action. It's time to cut the cord.
E, right now you should make it a priority to get your answer. I say reach out to him and lay it out – no pussy footing around. You’ve wasted far too much time wondering, and there is no better time to put this issue to bed. It's a win/win situation. If he disses you, you will finally be set free from the fantasy that is leading you nowhere, or he bites the bait and you'll have a chance to have a relationship in reality. Fingers crossed for the latter. Keep me posted! xx