Dear Sasha, One of my best friends is having trouble with her other group of friends. Usually she would host pre drinks and some would crash at her place afterwards, however of late they have been choosing to drink and sleep elsewhere. I know she is a bit hurt and confused by this.

I have a feeling it is because her apartment REEKS because she has a pet cat and is not very proactive about cleaning. It seriously stinks like crazy in there and feels a bit dirty. Is there any way at all I can float this by her without either one of us feeling awful?


Nobody wants to smell bad let alone be told they smell bad, but L, if this is affecting the friendships around her then, as awkward as it is, you’ve gotta drop the stink bomb and let her know what’s up. 

I think in this situation it’s in your best interest to not couch what you have to say in a bunch of qualifiers because I think we can all agree here that you only want to deliver this news once, so in other words, be no-bullsh*t direct. Okay, so how to do it …..

I know with my group of friends we can handle a bit of bite. So if I were you, the next time I’d walk in to the house, I’d rip it off like a Band-Aid and say something like: “Holy sh-t! Dude, your cat smells rank as hell - this whole place reeks.” 

In my opinion this method is the best way to go because it’s honest, it’s quick, you avoid having to have some serious conversation about it, the blame is on the cat as opposed to her, and there’s no misunderstanding. Will she think you’re a tad c-nty? Probably, but she’ll get over it, and most importantly, I have no doubt that she’ll fix the stank STAT.

Thanks for writing in and keep me posted! xx