Dear Sasha, I've been friends with this girl for 15 yrs.  During that time she married, had kids, and is now divorced.  I should mention that I'm still single and have no kids.  Now that she's newly divorced, guess what?  Suddenly, she wants to hang out almost every week end that she's kid-less (when they're with her ex), so a deluge of text messages come my way to hit the bar scene.  I get that she's newly single and she wants to mingle; totally understandable.  Except every time we do go out, she relies on me to pick the evening's watering hole.  Here's the thing: she NEVER has anything positive to say about any of these places; everything from the music, food, even what people are wearing....she complains about ALL of it. It's a constant stream of criticism.  However, when I've suggested she select a place she'd prefer to hang out, she always retorts with the excuse that she's been out of the "scene" for so long, and doesn't know any of the "good places" to hang out.  It's frustrating. I'm growing weary of her negative (and somewhat needy) behavior.  It's gotten to the point where I'm now making up excuses to avoid going out with her.  Any advice?  I don't dislike her, but she's also seriously annoying the hell out of me. Thanks J


When people emerge back onto the singles scene it’s almost like they’ve had social amnesia for a while, you know?  They’re suddenly smacked with the reality of how f-cking lame the bar scene really is.  Sorry, but it does suck major tits. 

There are line-ups, it’s loud, and you actually have to make an effort to put nice clothes on.  J, I know you haven’t been in a relationship for a while, but let me remind you, one of the biggest perks of being in a relationship - aside from all the being-in-love stuff - is that you get a free pass to sit on your ass in your pajamas and cozy up together by the TV.

Look, while I agree that your friend is being annoying, I do think she needs a little time to get back into the groove of things.  She’s going through some big adjustments, so try and suck up her ‘tude a tiny bit longer.  I know, I know, you want to strangle her ass, but just be a good friend and cut her a bit of slack….

Hope this helps and keep your Life + Style questions coming my way here.