Hi Sasha, So me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost two months. We text everyday, but when we talk at school it is SOOOO awkward. We're both kind of shy, and we’ve talked about everything already through text. I try really hard to think of things to say but my mind goes blank. We went on our first date to the movies, and it was mega awkward! He’s my first boyfriend, and I really really like him, but I don’t know how to get to that place where we have crazy chemistry, and we don’t feel like we have to fill every blank, and we can stay silent if we don’t have anything interesting to say without it being the most awkward thing on earth. I need your help!
You haven’t let me in on your age but here’s the deal: whether you’re 16, 36 or 96, first dates are always awkward. I know you want to peel off your skin and f-cking bolt, but hang in there; if you can get over this awkward hump, you'll figure out whether he’s worth all the trouble or not.
Because trust me, I know it feels all kinds of gross now, but if this guy ends up being a keeper you’ll look back on this time as one the most fun times of your relationship.
The one suggestion I do have for you though is to: STOP TEXTING ALL THE TIME.
Seriously, it’s why I think so many relationships don't get a fair chance. When that’s the main channel of communication you can only get a snippet of who the person truly is. They don’t get to see you blush, they don’t get to see you sneak looks at them, they don’t get to hear your voice quiver because you’re so goddamn nervous to be around them...and these L, THESE are the moments you should savor when getting to know someone.
All people do now is hide behind their phones, which makes everything so prepared, so thought out, so artificial – where the sh-t is spontaneity in that?!?!?! Sure it’s easier, but f-ck, it’s also really boring and quite frankly not a natural, normal way of getting to know someone.
So S, I really encourage you to try and establish more of a human connection by talking to this dude on the phone, by using your actual vocal chords and by going out and seeing each other in person. Give it a try. Communicating in the real world really isn't such a bad thing.
Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming to [email protected]