I'll just jump right in --- I have herpes. I got it from the boy I lost my virginity to when I was 16. Tragic, right?
Since then, I've had two other partners, both relationships who were very understanding when I ultimately told them. I'm now single (for the last 3 years), and 24 in Los Angeles, and wanting to date, but am petrified of how to handle this. Obviously, I plan to be completely honest and up front before any sexual activity, but what I don't know is WHEN I should tell guys my deal. I want to give them time to get to know and like me first, but I don't want to drag it out and come up with fake reasons I won't sleep with them. I don't want to waste anyone's time if it's a total dealbreaker, but I also don't want to scare anyone off. I'm also afraid of telling people and having them spread it about like gossip...ugh. I'd love to sleep my way through the aspiring actors. What should I do? T
Here’s the reality: 1 in 4 people have genital herpes so there’s a decent chance that the next dude you want to bag also has it, or has been with someone who has. As long as you go into your next relationship with this truthful and open attitude, that’s really all you can do.
Obviously don’t blurt it out while you’re eating a runny omelet < I just made myself laugh by the way> but as you say T, when things get to that point where you want to introduce his penis to your vagina then just be upfront. We’re all adults, right? And this doesn’t have to be some dramatic conversation – just tell him that before things get any more heated you want to be straight up. You have herpes and not to worry because you’re taking the right medication to suppress it, and that you’ll never put him at risk when and if it flares up.
Sure, those aren’t the hottest words that will ever come out of your mouth, but if this guy is into you, then here’s hoping he won’t be royally turned off. From my experience guys will take just about any offer to get down and dirty, so let’s just say the odds of you getting some dick are pretty good.
T, thanks for writing in and being so honest! Fingers crossed you get laid soon!