Hey sasha! My really good friend is going through a tough time.  She got let go of her job 6 months ago and she’s still having a hard time getting back on her feet.  She’s trying but not making enough money to always pay her rent.  I’m not rolling in it but I could spot her some cash.  The thing is her birthday is coming up and I thought I’d give her 500 but I don’t want her to think that I’m giving it to her for charity. What do you think?


Without knowing your friend it’s really hard for me to predict how she’ll react. I mean, if you’re questioning it, then how the hell am I supposed to know? But I think I have a plan for you: First, you have to make sure that you give this to her when you two are alone. “Surprise! You’re Poor!” is probably not the way she wants to kick off her birthday party, right? Right.

Now the whole point here is to relieve your friend of stress, pressure or worry so you need to ensure that the money doesn’t represent that at all. When you give it to her, explain that there are no strings attached – she can do with it what she wants. If she wants to pay you back one day she can, if she doesn’t then no worries. She needs to hear from you that there are no expectations. The only thing you want her to take away from it is a gesture, a paper form of happiness, love and support.

Of course the amount of money you're offering is super generous on its own, but if I were you I’d also buy her a little gift on top of it (like candy, or a gag gift, something cheap). That way it doesn't feel like one big weird bank transaction.

Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming my way to [email protected]