Sasha Answers: Wedding +1

Sasha Posted by Sasha at October 1, 2013 17:15:02 October 1, 2013 17:15:02

Hey Sasha, I need help with some wedding etiquette for an invite I just received. Here's the thing: this friend and I were estranged for a while, and in the last year or so have just now become pleasant acquaintances.  Anyways, the invite was a surprise. But here's the problem: it's addressed just to me, not to my long-term boyfriend. I'm not sure if they know we live together (again, we're not close now) and if it was a mistake or if he intentionally wasn't invited. I have considered just straight up calling her to ask, because I know it's rude to RSVP for two if you're not given a plus one, but if she says he can't come, I'll feel weird RSVPing no, because I honestly don't want to go without him for awkward-situation backup. Help!


This summer I got an invite to a wedding from a high school friend. We’re not in touch often, but we go way back and still have solid respect and love for one another. He was at my wedding three years ago. As in, he was there, saw me walk down the aisle in a white dress, witnessed the exchange of lifelong vows, and therefore 100% knows I’m married. However, when I got his invitation it was only to me.

Long story short I couldn’t make the wedding so I didn’t bother addressing the sitch, but had I been able to go I would have had no problem bringing it up with him. It’s not rude to give someone a heads up if you think they may have overlooked something, and S, I think we can probably chalk this one up to an oversight. 

So S, all you need to do is drop her an email with something along the lines of: “I got the invitation in the mail and I’m so excited for you guys!  I’m sure the budget is tight and I know how guest lists can get out of hand, but I wanted to double-check with you that you only meant to invite me, and not X? We’ve been dating for a few years now and he’s my live-in ball and chain so he pretty much comes with me everywhere. Thanks for letting me know.”

After that just wait for her response as to why or why they didn’t invite him. From there, you really have no choice but to accept her answer and then make your decision as to whether or not to go. 

Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE+ STYLE questions to [email protected]

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