Dear Sasha:  I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He's a great guy; hard worker, loyal, a great cook and he's hot. We have our differences, obviously, and I am way more expressive than he is: I'm constantly telling him low great he looks, I surprise him with gifts and basically show my appreciation for him in many different ways.

Anyway, after a long talk in which I jokingly told him  I would like for him to write a little something for me on account of St Valentine's day, I asked him what he would like for me to change or do for him. And he told me to please watch my weight and do something about it.

I am 27, weigh 132 pounds and I am 5'4' tall. I am definitely not slim, but not fat, either. I felt rather bad about it and was quite offended and told him I could not believe how superficial he is. He insisted on telling me that he knew that it was a complicated matter, that he told me for my own good and that if I continue to put on weight it could affect the attraction he feels for me.

Being the petty bitch I am, I told him I would like his penis to be longer. He looked at me as if I had clubbed him on the head. Granted, he's not super well endowed but it works, I guess. He believed I was talking out of spite.  I think I've crossed a stupid line but I don't know if I have to apologize, or forget about the whole matter. hope you can help! Love, C

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Ouch. The dink shrinker. Harsh.

We all know that you don’t f-ck with a girl’s weight but you never ever f-ck with the size of a dude’s dick. And C, you guys just knocked each other right out of the safe zone.

What you said was straight up a tornado kick right to his ball sack, not to mention a major blow to his ego. As harsh as it is to criticize someone's weight, at least that's something that can be changed, but dick size? That sh-t’s for life. And now every time he whips that sucker out, he’ll know that you don’t see a dick, but a wee-wee and there’s no chia petting his way out of that.

Honestly C, I don’t know what you can say to make this better.  It’s really up to him to get over. At this point all you can do is say sorry, you didn't mean it, you only said it out of anger, and hope for the best.  Good Luck.