Hi Sasha, I'm in a circle of friends that contains a group of people who aren't actually close to each other. You know this kind of circle; I'm really good friends with A & one or two people inside the circle; A is a really close friend of B; while I & B can't stand each other---things like that. All of us hang out together frequently, but everyone knows that me & B are never to be left alone.

That stalemate was ruined a few days ago when B suddenly slagged me off in our Blackberry Group chat when I made a totally innocent statement that did not concern her. Long story short: My friend Pregnant C was posting pictures of her pregnant belly and I commented that that shape of her belly reminds me of a half-sphere (seriously, if that's offensive then I CANNOT). Suddenly B came swooping in and implied that I was being (and I quote this verbatim: "sarcastic, unfunny, and very unsupportive." WTF right.

I immediately apologized to Pregnant C and as it turned out she was OK with me and my lame-ass no-joke, so what the heck is B's problem?!

I am sooooooooo itching for a throwdown with B because after +5 years of having to deal with being fake-friends with the bitch, I feel like this is my chance to end the fakery. Despite my blood lust, I have to also think about the dynamics of the group.  Now I don't give a f-ck if some of the people who I'm not really close to in the group choose to cut ties with me & label me as the psycho one; but I really hate to put the people I care about in a tough spot of having to choose between me and B. So what do you think Sasha? Love, S

I think we can all agree that this B chick was a bit of a bitch-face in this incident.  Because S, in all honesty your joke was neither here nor there, I mean, I’ll agree with B - it wasn’t funny at all - but for her to say it was sarcastic and unsupportive is well, just being super overdramatic.  Now obviously B has been waiting and praying for a moment to shame your ass in public and ta-da she saw the opportunity and pounced on it.  Was her attempt lame?  Yes.  Did it work?  I’m going to guess not if your friends are still answering your phone calls, right?

So, what to do you ask.  I say nothing.  I’m sorry, I know that’s not what you want to hear, but going all ape sh-t on her ass is just as lame as her calling you out.  Like, if someone really doesn’t matter in your life, if they are really no value-add in any way, shape or form, then what’s the point in putting the effort in?  Unless you want to make peace with her what good will come of it?  Nothing.  It’ll only cause more tension in the group which will only further divide you all up.  Look, if B wants to be a negative catty cow, then let her.  

I was watching Alexis Stewart, Martha Stewart’s daughter, on the Today show and that girl is one cold ass muther f-cker.  Watch the interview below – it’s pretty awesome.  Anyway she said something that, while so f-cking horrible, was so true:

“If you want to punish somebody, never talking to them again is a really good method.”

So c-nty, right? (Lainey: the girl sh-t that happened here is AMAZING. You must watch) Now, the way she says it is so mean spirited, but if you take the essence of the concept it really is the way to go.  People who start fights, or who want to cause a scene, like B, are dying for retaliation, dying to keep the toxic sh-t going, and when they don’t get a reaction they so badly wanted or anticipated, they freak the f-ck out.   I guess what I’m saying here is S, sometimes the best comeback is not having one at all.    

Hope this helps! Xx