Dear Sasha, My boyfriend of two years and I just broke up a few hours ago. It seems to be rather amicable even though we no longer like or love each other. We've been living together with his brother for just over a year.
During the course of the past 14 months, I have come to intensely dislike his brother. This has put a lot of undue stress on me and has bred a lot of resentment. I made the mistake of complaining to my (now) ex-boyfriend about his brother - a lot.
Everything came to a head a few days ago when my ex told me that they felt I was the problem and the brother no longer wants to live with me. In addition to feeling excluded he thinks I was changing my ex for the worse and being too harsh and expecting too much from my boyfriend. Since this was originally their apartment, I'm, of course, the one who needs to leave and my ex does not want to move out with me. This made me feel totally ganged up on and like I was being kicked out and f-cked over.
Our relationship had problems but I feel as though they were exacerbated by his brother and he even caused new ones.
Thanks God, I've found a small (too expensive) room I can rent and my mom is going to help me out and be a bit of a safety net for me while I try to get back on my feet. My room isn't available until June 1st. That's a lot of time living with two people who dislike me, one of whom I cannot even stand to look at. My question for you is how do I handle this? S
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Sleep on a friend’s couch, move the f-ck back home, find a park and pitch a goddamn tent -- do anything but stay there. You know you're not welcome so don’t put yourself in a situation that will be not only be incredibly uncomfortable but really really negative.
I can’t imagine why you’d even contemplate sticking it out…..unless you're thinking there's a chance that you and your ex can somehow rekindle the relationship? If there’s even a smidgen of that in your mind, get over it because it ain’t happening. Sorry to be a buzzkill, but the damage is done.
Look, I’m not going to get in on the specifics of your relationship, but just a heads up for the future: it’s one thing to have your hate on for your significant other’s family member IN SECRET, but to voice that sh-t in the real world while you’re sharing the same living space is cray cray. The moment you told your now ex-boyfriend that you hated his bro, you were doomed. How from that point on did you think it wasn’t going to cause friction? Sister-friend, don’t ever do that again. Okay? Okay.
But what’s done is done so you’ve got to move on and MOVE OUT. For real S, pack your sh-t up and find somewhere else to live until you can move into your new pad.
Hope this helps and thanks for writing in! And keep your emails coming my way to [email protected]
