Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn hooked up for lunch on Monday in LA. A civilian diner took a photo of them with her iPhone, has likely made a nice little profit, much to Scarlett’s irritation, I’m sure. Scarjo likes to keep her sh-t tight, though I suppose shoving your foot in your friend’s lap at a restaurant isn’t exactly the smartest way of going about it.

Do friends put feet in friends’ laps?

Hmmm…quite the life dilemma, non?

I put my feet in gay laps all the time. But Sean Penn isn’t gay. So that obviously doesn’t apply. I’ve also on several occasions put my feet in Dylan’s lap. We travel together a lot. I hate when the blood flows to my legs making them thick and bloated, especially when I’m wearing a dress. Dylan and I are like brother and sister. This year at Sundance, he unclogged my toilet and had to look at my poo. I would have no problem doing as Scarjo did with Sean as demonstrated in this photo. Trust me when I tell you then that a little foot in the lap action between Dylan and me is strictly platonic.

So are Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson all like brother and sister styles? Has Sean plunged Scarjo’s toilet? If plunging a toilet in this case is not a euphemism for something sexual? Obviously, most of you think that’s ridiculous. Most of you think that if it’s a friendship, it’s a friendship that involves f-cking. That’s my first inclination too. But then I spent some time thinking about Scarlett yesterday and it occurred to me…

Does she have female friends?

I get the impression Scarlett is the kind of girl who isn’t good with girls. And therefore perhaps her behaviour with boys is shaped outside of the benefit of having girl influences. Not unlike Angelina Jolie. It’s also so easy to forget – she’s just 25. This girl is YOUNG. She started young, she’s still young, she’s divorced, she may not have girlfriends, and she may or may not be giving Sean Penn a cock rub with her toes. The point is – does she know any different when it comes to boys? Who would have explained it to her?

Source TMZ