Let’s talk about the name Scarlett. In 1984, when Johansson was born, it was pretty rare. Like non-existent. Nobody had the name. I know what that’s like.

But then, as Scarlett Johansson got more and more famous, and more and more...iconic...funny thing, the name Scarlett became more and more popular. Like, shockingly so. Right around the time Lost In Translation came out, the name suddenly became super popular. The fact that it belonged to the Sexiest Woman Alive had something to do with it, I suspect.

So not only has it had a giant burst of popularity, but it’s basically all due to one person. That’s a lot of pressure. Maybe that’s why she chose to name her baby Rose. There’s nothing wrong with Rose, but it’s not distinctive, especially when compared to her mother’s name. There are a lot of Roses right now.

But then – maybe that’s the gift. Maybe Rose will be un-Google-able. Maybe she won’t spend her whole life being stalked by the tabloids. Maybe she can slip under the radar and not be watched and constantly compared and labeled “Daughter of the Sexiest Woman Alive”. I might be coming around on this as a strategic choice.

Besides – as I can hear you grumbling at me – you don’t need an unusual name to make an impact in the world. After all, think about Joan.