Here’s Sean Penn walking around Malibu yesterday. He’s, like, Scarlett Johansson’s boyfriend now. This makes me really… embarrassed for her. Can you imagine how she must look up at him? Some kind of god? Can you hear how she must gush over him?

He’s so talented. He’s so smart. He wins Oscars and helps out in Haiti…

They pretend they mature faster, these Hollywood girls, but they really don’t. At the heart of it all, Scarjo is 25. And crushing on an experienced older man. And bringing him with her to weddings.

Jim Toth is her agent. So she was invited when Toth married Reese Witherspoon last weekend. And she invited Sean Penn. Which, I mean, that’s just it, isn’t it?

Will you please, please come with me to the wedding this weekend?

Are these unfair assumptions?

Sure. Maybe if we were talking about another couple.

But this is Sean Penn. It’s been 25 years. You should be familiar with Sean Penn. Are you sure you want to deny that Sean Penn has the upper hand in a relationship? Especially in a relationship with a girl who was just born when he married Madonna? Come on now.


Photos from Flynetonline.com