Major disappointment. She’s Scarlett Johansson. I can’t understand how this dress ended up being presented to Scarlett Johansson. I would be embarrassed to bring this over to Scarjo’s. Because this is lazy. Like the dress is actually lazy. The dress does not want to do anything. It doesn’t want to attract you with colour. It doesn’t want to make a case for its construction. It doesn’t ask you to appreciate the material. It has no skills. All it can do is hang on her and be useless.
This is a dress for a Why Is. Scarlett Johansson is not a Why Is. You might not like her, but you cannot deny that she’s Top Tier Talent. She’s A+ List. And she showed up at the Oscars in an outfit I have spent almost 24 hours trying to understand I can’t. I cannot understand what happened here. I cannot understand why she’d do such a disservice to her hair. Her hair is SO AWESOME. Her hair did not deserve to be Lauren Conrad-ed by this dress, WHAT THE F-CK!?!
Scarjo was at the Oscars with her agent Joe Machota. As you know, she’s single now. And it’s still clunky to me, how she confirmed her separation from Romain Dariac, how they claim that it’s been since summer but they opened a popcorn shoppe together in the fall and were seen kissing on social media as recently as December. How the same day the news of their split was revealed she and Romain showed up at an art even together in New York. It smelled like, maybe, she was covering some tracks. The tracks = Joe Machota?
I hope not. Last night she sat next to Chris Evans in the audience. And I just wrote about the fact that Chris and Scarjo are now both single at the same time. Way better for gossip than Scarjo and some agent who looks like the bad guy in Die Hard 2.
