Once upon a time, when Diddy was still important, his white parties were legendary. An invitation was hard to come by.

These days? At a Diddy White Party?

Not so exclusive.

This weekend, with one or two exceptions, his guest list consisted of mostly has-beens and reality stars. Like Tara Reid. And Tila Tequila.

If Tara Reid is at your party, your party is officially sh-t. Even if you co-host with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. But f-ck me are they ever a good looking couple. This is the thing about a white dress code. And it’s something more brides should pay attention to. There’s no need to be white selfish. Everyone looks better at a white dress code party.

My cousin at her wedding asked everyone to wear white. The photos are gorgeous.

Back to Demi and Ashton – she is 47 in November. She is smart not to have done anything to her lips, non? That face is a miracle.

Two of the few bright spots at an otherwise lameass event: Russell Brand and Mimi Cheese. Can you imagine him giving her the business? Oh my god, please. I would pay. I would pay a lot.

Photos from Wenn.com and Gettyimages.com