It was a drawn-out breakup, as breakups can be, especially at their age. Finally though, after a very rough holiday in Mexico, during which, I hear, they argued so dramatically that they were throwing things at each other and finally ended up requesting to move into separate apartments, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are done. And, as girls do when they break up, Selena is spending time with her friends, swinging her hair around, flirting with cute boys and holding their hands.  According to US Weekly she was holding hands with a boy called Luke Bracey with whom she worked on Monte Carlo. Here’s Luke last year at The Hunger Games Australian premiere and before that at another event and, other than the fact that I think he might have a shoe problem, as you can see, this is not bad at all as a starter revenge date, although poor Luke, as attractive as he is, isn’t exactly the male equivalent of a Victoria’s Secret model.

Still, if we’re playing tit for tat and aiming for the ego, even though Bracey’s name recognition is  embarrassingly negligible compared to Justin Bieber, “I’m more rich and famous and I f-ck supermodels” might not be enough to drown out the inches. Bieber badly wants to grow -- height and width and facial hair -- and when you consider the maturity level of an 18 year old, you know that can’t be going down smoothly, Bracey’s advantage in that area. A kid with Bieber’s entitlement complex is usually quick to jealousy. That his ex-girlfriend might be getting over him with a blonde Aussie surfer boy with big muscles and goatee must be making him crazy. This will, hopefully, lead to Good Gossip. On Instagram. A photo taken at Miranda Kerr’s or something. What? She’s a really good listener. And maybe she bakes?